Weight Listed

Coming home from the beach has to one the most depressing things. EVER. Knowing you have to get back to reality, go back to work, and the truth that having your first drink at 10am is boarder line alcoholism. The only thing that makes the return ok is getting to pick up Fritz!

FYI: The beach house WAS dog friendly, but Fritz exceeded the weight limit. However, let me give you a quick recap of the vacay the pooches that were invited had:

1. The Swimmer (or not): My aunt and uncle’s dog fell into the pool 10 minutes after we arrived, and with NO doggie paddle move whatsoever. She just sunk straight to the bottom. My stepmom had to jump in with all of her clothes on and save her…

2. The Runaway: My parents’ dog snuck out of the gate while we were all swimming. After we all jumped out of the pool looking for her, my dad ran out of the gate and saw her prancing down Scenic Hwy 98…

3. The PeePee Bandit: When we first got there we rolled up all of the rugs so none of the pups could pee on them. The night before we left we put them all back down; well, my sisters dog must be smarter than we realized, because two seconds later she was peeing under the dinning room table…

So basically – despite Fritz’s weight – he probably would have been the best behaved.

Besides the dog drama, the trip was fabulous and wonderfully relaxing. I got to spend time with these rugrats:

I also got to spend time with my sister, which I love. She lives in Mississippi, so our bonding time is limited. We do chitchat at least once a day, via text, but she is one of my favorite parts of vacation!

We also got to see a couple across the street bonding; if “crazy bitch” and “dumb drunk” and “your children will never talk to you after this”, is considered bonding. It was really one of the most highlighting points of the trip. I love a good dramatic fight, in person, when no one I know is involved. It’s always super classy.

Besides all the love and hate, there was shopping! What is it about vacation that makes you think you are one of the Kardashians? My favorite purchase though was my two new t-shirts! I know you’re thinking t-shirts? Seriously? This bitch is no Kardashian… BUT I stumbled upon this brand called Southern Point Co.

This guy who graduated from Alabama created the brand, and it is designed after his GSP!! Check out the link – they have online shopping. It won’t disappoint!

Andd, for my birthday, my sister signed me up to Birch Box. It’s this fabulous company that sends you samples and whatnot each month of different skincare, makeup, and other odd and ends. My roomie has been getting it for months. I am always jealous of her packages; so I was super excited about this gift. Check out Mal’s Blog to see all the deats about Birch Box and more stories of a makeup junkie.

On the total flipside... Hurricane Issac is headed for the Gulf. Is it totally wrong of me that a tiny part of me hopes heavy rain heads our way so I can escape a few more days of work?? 

Boarded Control

So tomorrow I leave for the beach!! My dad used to take us every summer, but for the past few years it’s been more of an off and on kind of thing. I’m not sure why…? At one point his whole side of the family would go, his 2 brothers, and sister, and their families. (Maybe this answers my question). I’ve never seen four people with the same DNA that could be more different. There is still chatter about when one of my uncles decided to cook Mexican food on the 4^th of July, (as if one of them haven’t eaten a hamburger or hotdog on Cinco de Mayo). I hadn’t seen so much disapproval in one room until the Casey Anthony trail.

Basically this all means I have to board Fritz, and I think I’m having a mini crisis. He has never been away from me this long, and has never been boarded for longer than 24 hours! I’m not sure if you realize just how spoiled this dog is. He is used to a chew bone and a small cuddle session, while we watch TV, before his eyes roll back in his head. Then once he is out, so is my luck for bed space!

These pictures describe the before and after shots of how he starts, and how he ends up 

The dog turns into dead effing weight! I’d have a better chance of finding Jimmy Hoffa than I do of moving him...

I am curious to see what the vet has to say about his actions when I pick him up. Granted, when my parents keep him, they say he was wonderful and is a completely different dog when I’m not around. He must have some sort of Jekyll and Hyde personality. Except, he isn’t mean, he is just wildly uncontainable and has the excitement of an 8 year old on Christmas morning.  Luckily, the place I’m taking him has this thing called “doggie daycare”, (original right?), so I am going to ask for them to let him play during the day. My only concern with this is Fritz loves to be chased and LOVES to jump in mud holes. At the dog park, all the owners are doing everything they can to keep their pups out of the mud. Then here comes Fritz, with a LINE of dogs trucking behind him, and free falling into the mud. Of course everyone out there is looking for the parent of this outrageous, uncontrollable dog; and I’m on the other side of the park pretending to be just as disgusted.

Here’s a picture of the monstrosity:

I really do think Fritz will be safe where he is. It’s one of the top 3 places here. And hopefully, the mixture of sand, sun, and liquor will keep me dazed and confused from worrying about my little guy too much. im really just anticipating my 6'5" brother in law beating me in cranium and jumping from the table singing “big headed mutha fucka up in here”

Hangover Shmangover

Have you ever had one of those mornings you wake up so hung-over you swear to all type of gods you're never drinking again? Then by noon you’ve already popped a top, and you and your roomie are already mapping out your plans for the night. It’s that “hair of the dog that bit you” line that you follow through on because the thought of missing out on the party is far worse than dry heaving on all fours in the parking lot, (true story).

Since it’s that time of year where college friends are reuniting and football season is vastly approaching, and you can relate to said scenario – then take a look at my own personal remedies that may help get you through the next few months. It may not revive your liver, but it should get your groove back for round 2. (and even if you're not up for round two, this will at least get you feeling somewhat normal again).

1. CALL THE DINOSAURS. If you’re anything like me you HATE this step, but in reality it will make you feel a million times better. If you have the urge when you wake up, just get it over with. Otherwise, more often than not, that urge will come racing back sometime later that night and you’ll end up puking on the bar before you make it to the bathroom, (also a true story).

2. CAFFEINE. Whoever said Sprite settles your stomach was wrong. Get yourself some coffee or a coke. My preference is a Dr. Pepper. McDonald’s if I have a choice. (Something about their fountain drinks that make you want to have a hangover).

3. GREASY FOOD. Grab yourself a burger, pizza, a burrito; whatever floats your boat. If you partook in step 1, then don’t feel so bad about calories – you just lost everything from the night before. Sometimes the thought of food may make you want to get sick all over again, but you need to push through. Trust me, some substance will do you justice.

4. BLOODY MARY. I don’t know if its being from the south or because Vodka and Zing Zang Mix is a staple in my parents house, but a Bloody Mary can make all your troubles disappear. Whoever named this was genius because this is the Holy Grail of hangovers. Grab yourself one with lunch and move on to step 5, and you will be well on your way to recovery.

5. NAP. Im not sure what it is about a hangover, but it never fails that you're awake earlier than the garbage man. After you eat, climb back in bed for a little siesta. When you wake up start chugging water and get yourself rehydrated!

There it is – they may not be the most logical steps, but it works like a charm! Let me know if you have your own special remedies, or if you’ve just started chugging beers just to see if my ridiculous-ness is really genius-ness!

From Impulse to Inseparable

Meet Fritz:

This is my one and a half year old German Shorthaired Pointer. He is 51.2 pounds of muscle and energy; and with the occasional excited pee and 7am wakeup calls aside, he is the best (non human) friend anyone could have. But let’s be honest here: Fritz was a result of an impulse buy from a couple with a 6 year on and off again relationship (that now rests permanently in the off position).

>Need a play be play? We saw him, his sweet puppy eyes won us over, and we bought him<

Now as a single “mom” my life has changed a lot. I know some people think I’m crazy because I treat my dog as a child, and speak of him as one, but there is a significance to Fritz I’m not sure everyone understands. He kept me from a sad place, kept my energy up, and most of all – kept my spirits up.  I mean how can you look at this face and NOT smile??

(Now, just to clarify, I am not comparing myself to single moms in any way. I pretty much hit my knees every time I think of what it would be like if Fritz was an impulse baby. YIKES!! )

Back to the point though, Fritz is literally attached to my hip. He goes everywhere I go; to visit my parents, to run errands, sometimes just to pick up dinner, I will let him ride shotgun. I –without a doubt- recommend a dog to anyone going through a hard time, or anyone is just looking for a friend that can be at your beckon call 24/7.  However, when you’re pondering about this decision, keep in mind- DOGS ARE NOT CHEAP! I spent 200 dollars on my loveable canine a few months back because he ate some sugar free gum. Turns out he barely had any in his system, and the vet thought I was psycho, but hey! - Better safe than sorry.  

KUWAGSP

Hey y’all! I want to thank everyone for coming to see what I have to say! After two of my besties created blogs, I decided to jump on the bandwagon. My goal is to let you in on what it's like “Keeping Up With A German Shorthaired Pointer”, and other little secrets of life. Hope I keep you drooling for more!  (pun intended)